Home Reviews ‘Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom’ – Disney Version of ‘Bad Boys II’ (REVIEW)

‘Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom’ – Disney Version of ‘Bad Boys II’ (REVIEW)

written by Damian Gordon June 28, 2018
T-Rex, Chris Pratt, and Bryce Dallas Howard in Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom

Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom is made for fans of the series. Everyone else might want to enter with caution like there is a live T-Rex in the theatre. A couple of years after the events of the last film, Owen Grady (Chris Pratt) and Claire Dearing (Bryce Dallas Howard) return to the island to save dinosaurs from a second extinction. However, things are more complicated this time as other rich corporations plot an evil conspiracy for these animals.

Listen, at this point, it’s like the Fast and Furious – fans know why they’re here and don’t care for logic. That synopsis sounds like you can stick it to any of the other films. Fallen Kingdom even calls itself out about how often these crises happen and that it could be avoided. The one to point this out is a great cameo by Jeff Goldblum as Ian Malcolm at a UN meeting. Every word he says is charming and you wonder if there is a movie since everybody agrees they should let the creatures die. Well, everyone except Claire.

Who Do You Love?

Claire in Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom

Characters here are mostly uninteresting or unlikable besides the short appearances by Malcolm. Franklin Webb has to be the most hateable character in 2018 and yes, that includes Starlord from Infinity War. Chris Pratt plays Chris Pratt here and Howard does a good job whenever they share the screen. The chemistry between them is adorable and realistic of couples we all know in real-life.

Franklin is the I.T. nerd who is scared of everything, and everyone in the film seems to be annoyed with him. I know we’re called Don’t Hate The Geek, but man the way Franklin’s grating personality makes me feel goes beyond hate. He’s prominently on screen with Claire and Grady most of the time. How is it possible that I’m wanting a good guy to get eaten more than the villains.

Oh boy, the villains are more transparent than clothing at a strip club. No layers and I can’t remember a single name without Google. They are there for whatever obvious fates they get at the end.

However, the bad guys here are hateable. They do the most cliche mustache-twirling things like murder, betrayal and blah blah blah. It works though; they are effective in getting you riled up. There were many points when I threw my hands in the air and went, “Come on!” as they kept getting away with things.

Looks Can Be Everything

Dinosaur chases helicopter in Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom opening

The CGI here doesn’t work too well. When there isn’t a closeup of a dinosaur, they look out of place and fake. The raptor Blue looks the best, while everyone else only looks good when zooming on a specific body party.

Speaking of CGI, Disney must have gotten their hands on this as the dinosaurs are cartoonish as hell. There is a point when a lab is about to explode, and a dinosaur looks at the timer and runs to jump out a window in slow-motion. I thought I was watching a Disney Channel version of Bad Boys II for a minute.

Then, there is the big bad dino who comedically taps his foot, plays dead, and a bunch more I’ll leave you to see. These instances create such big tonal changes, I can’t believe he’ll take out our heroes since he’s Wile E. Coyote. There are poignant moments of emotion in the movie that are quickly overshadowed by cheesiness. This is about the extinction of a species and there are a couple of moments that show glimpses of more interesting content.

I Can’t Hate You ‘Jurassic World’. You’re Too Cute.

By all means, I should have come out hating this. Instead, I admired that it has the balls to jump arms open into its own mess. Clones, Looney Tunes dinosaurs, and much more make it hard to hate something having fun with itself.

I do give points for the ending as it opens up exciting new ground for a sequel and avoided being obvious. What do I mean? Without getting into spoilers, there was a red/blue pill moment and Fallen Kingdom plays with your expectations in a cool way.

The film is tying in 25 years of history in one film and does so in a tongue-in-cheek way. They know this is ridiculous, they know the logic doesn’t hold up, and they know they don’t have much substance here. Yet Fallen Kingdom doesn’t care and makes a film meant for fans.

Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom is a middle of the road movie that invokes the ’90s and never really has any high or lows. It only coasts through to the credits on dinosaur spectacle and played-out jokes.

Will it serve as an enjoyable date night? Yeah, this is the perfect movie for you and a date to talk through because you won’t miss anything. There are better films to see right now, but… actually I don’t have anything, just do something else with your time.

Are you looking forward to checking out Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom? What’s your favorite Jurassic film? Leave us your comments!

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