Well, I’m still trying my best to keep awake, but hey WrestleMania 34 happened. The granddaddy of them all has come and gone and it was… interesting. I think it was a decent show, but it certainly was an odd one. Let’s take a look at WrestleMania 34 now!
Woken Matt Hardy Won the André the Giant Memorial Battle Royal
The André the Giant Memorial Battle Royal was, of course, the first match on the pre-show. Not much to say here. It was just boring, slow, and not too exciting, until the end at least when Bray Wyatt returned and helped Woken Matt Hardy win. Bray Wyatt as a face? Well, this might be the most excited I’ve been for the performer and character in years! Whatever WWE has planned for them, please do Wyatt some justice.
Cedric Alexander Defeated Mustafa Ali – WWE Cruiserweight Championship Final
Talk about a dead crowd. You could hear a pin drop during the Cruiserweight Championship match. WWE has turned around the cruiserweights ever since Triple H took over 205 Live, but you couldn’t tell from this. The match was good, Cedric Alexander and Mustafa Ali looked crisp, Drake Maverick had a great suit, and it was a fun match. Not sure why the crowd was already so silent – but whatever – I liked the match. Props to Ali for coming out as Sub Zero!
Naomi Won WrestleMania 34 Women’s Battle Royal
The WrestleMania 34 Women’s Battle Royal was a stinker. For all the improvement WWE has done with their female talent, they kinda just crapped the bed here. It was just as much a slog as the men’s royal was earlier. There was a nice little moment with the NXT performers involved, but other than that, nothing else was memorable aside from the ending. Bayley and Sasha looked to end the match, which made sense given their storyline right now. However, Naomi suddenly won.
What the hell? Oh wait, she apparently wasn’t thrown over the top rope. Well, there you go! I felt like WWE was truly going to give a big payoff between Sasha and Bayley, but NOPE! I love Naomi, but this could have catapulted the much-rumored Bayley heel turn. Both she and Sasha are still tweeners.
Seth Rollins Defeated Finn Bálor and The Miz (C) – Triple threat for the WWE Intercontenitial Championship
The show properly kicked off and began with the triple threat for the Intercontenitial Championship, which was a good call. The Miz, Seth Rollins, and Finn Bálor all, of course, pulled out terrific performances. They built this up nicely and it paid off, though I still find Miz sending the Miztourage to the back odd. He’s the lone heel in the match, so why wouldn’t he want help when there are no DQs?
Regardless, the action in this match was breakneck levels of cool. Those who still want to talk crap on Miz in the ring? Back of the line, haters! He held his own against two of the absolute best today and there is no denying all three are excellent. They had cool spots like the callback to Bálor and Rollins from SummerSlam 2016 and the curb stomp breaking up a pinfall. Bravo to all three men for kicking off the show in style!
Charlotte (C) Defeated Asuka – WWE SmackDown Live Women’s Live Championship
Next up was the first big shock of the night as Charlotte beat Asuka’s streak! It was a sure-fire bet that Asuka would win, but here comes the swerve! The match itself was great. No one would ever doubt these two wouldn’t work well together, and they exceeded expectations. Great wrestling and character work built and built in this match until the shocking finish of a one-armed Charlotte making Asuka tap to the figure eight. The post-match hug was nice, too, as Asuka proclaimed Charlotte was ready for her. Losing the streak might make Asuka’s booking more exciting now, making predicting her matches more enticing. Great work overall.
Jinder Mahal w/Sunil Singh Defeated Rusev w/Aiden English, Bobby Roode, and Randy Orton (C) – Fatal Four-Way for the WWE United States Championship
What a letdown the United States Championship match was. First, Jinder Mahal won because WWE can’t let this experiment stop. Second, the match itself wasn’t particularly entertaining or exciting, just something you’d see on a standard SmackDown Live. Last, why didn’t they put the belt on Rusev?! Rusev is one of the most over things in the whole wrestling world right now and how did they not lean into that? We had a live Aiden English performance, “Rusev Day” chants showered the Superdome, and Rusev Day shirts could be seen for days. How did they screw this up?! I know Jinder gets a lot of real heat from fans, but this is ridiculous. Oh, Rusev was also added in just weeks before and he’s the one who eats the pin? I guess Randy Orton didn’t want to job to Jinder again. Not a good Rusev Day.
Ronda Rousey and Kurt Angle Defeated Stephanie McMahon and Triple H – Mixed Tag Team Match
Following that travesty, it was time for Ronda Rousey to make her big debut. After yet another Sons of Anarchy-style entrance with Triple H and Stephanie McMahon, it was on! This match defined loads of expectations. Angle, in spite of his age, still could hang, having great bits with Triple H. Stephanie truly turned in a really good performance.
However, it was all Rousey that night. In 20 minutes, Rousey silenced her critics. She has taken to professional wrestling quite well. Her performance was excellent and she held her own, not just with Stephanie, but with Triple H as well. The armbar spot made me think she might legit rip Stephanie’s arm off. This was the best match of the night. It was pure wrestling goodness from the storytelling, the in-ring action, and delivery. This stole WrestleMania 34 and lit a fire back into the crowd.
The Bludgeon Brothers Defeated The New Day w/Xavier Woods and The Usos (C) – Triple Threat Match for the WWE Tag Team Championship
Granted it may have been too exciting for the crowd as they also seemed dead for this one. Then again, WrestleMania 34 was unbearably long this year as well, so yeah. What could have been the biggest show-stealer was just a five-minute brawl. New Day’s entrance was weird yet entertaining and hey, good on the Bludgeon Brothers. However, it just wasn’t too entertaining. There was not enough Usos vs. New Day and it just sort of happened. I’m glad I called this one right, but it wasn’t worth writing home about. Props to the pancake midgets; slightly amused by them.
Undertaker Defeated John Cena
Undertaker vs. John Cena has been some of the best storytelling WWE has done in some time. They actually went through with Cena attending as a fan and I loved that as well. Also gave a good laugh seeing Cena run up the ramp. Thanks, Vince! Using Elias as a tease and butchering “House of the Rising Sun” was brilliant! It was an excellent heat magnet and also a good way to get Elias on the show. It seemed all well and done after Cena demolished him, but we got it! Undertaker truly returned a year after we all thought he was done for good. He looked and moved better, so kudos on the new hip man. What was really surprising was how much of a squash this match was. It was both shocking and unbelievable. It was a great payoff, but I suspect a proper match is in store at SummerSlam.
Daniel Bryan and Shane McMahon Defeated Kevin Owens and Sami Zayn
Here it is, Daniel Bryan back in a wrestling ring for a wrestling match – for about 10 minutes or so. Yeah, while it was awesome to see it happen, Shane McMahon took most of the offense. I understand wanting to keep him safe, but man you dangle the keys in our faces then just toss them? Shane McMahon essentially had a handicap match with Kevin Owens and Sami Zayn, until Daniel Bryan got up and kicked some ass. Admittedly, Shane is okay in the ring, but we all wanted Bryan. When Bryan was in the ring, he looked good! He looked as if he hadn’t missed a beat and I lost my mind! There is no better place to return than where he won the title. Credit to Owens and Zayn; great performances as well. They obviously would be dynamite together, but we never thought it would happen in WWE. It was a decent match overall.
Nia Jax Defeated Alexa Bliss (C) w/Mickie James – WWE Raw Women’s Championship
Redemption! That’s really the only way this WrestleMania 34 match could end. Nia Jax losing would be as dumb as Rusev not winning his match. I rather enjoyed the buildup to this match and Bliss is just an excellent cowardly heel. Jax properly came off as the bullied underdog and sold everything perfectly. These two always have amazing chemistry, be they partners or opponents. Jax winning was a great feel-good moment and Bliss’ drive to get the title back will be fun! Good work, ladies!
AJ Styles (C) Defeated Shinsuke Nakamura – WWE Championship
Here we are, the dream match that already happened! Okay, admittedly this match was slightly disappointing. It was a little slow to start looking back at it but did pick up. Regardless, we know AJ vs. Nakamura would deliver; both men excel at wrestling. The action as mentioned got better as it went and while not as exciting as one would hope, the post-match antics were. Nakamura became a heel at WrestleMania 34! It seems WWE is leaning into the more vicious side of him seen in New Japan. This could really open him up more on the main roster, as his hard style of wrestling would benefit a bad guy. No doubt the impending rematch will be more exciting. Good work despite the overall underwhelming bout.
Braun Strowman and Nicholas Defeated Sheamus and Cesaro (C) – WWE Raw Tag Team Championship
This was weird. One reason I love pro wrestling is how insane it is and this is certainly insane. Braun Strowman certainly picked a partner, but one who can’t yet drive! 10-year-old Nicholas became one half of the WWE Raw Tag Team Champions at WrestleMania 34. What?! I am confused as to how to feel as, yeah, certainly unpredictable, yet odd. Big Show, Rey Mysterio, even Elias where the top rumored choices, but we got Nicholas. Braun has gone from monster to comedy character. This was the strangest thing to have before the main event. Credit to The Bar for both their entrance and going along with it, but I’m still so confused! It’s both great and awful at the same time. I am still processing this. What is life?
Brock Lesnar (C) w/Paul Heyman Defeated Roman Reigns – WWE Universal Championship
The main event it seems nobody wanted! Given their WrestleMania 31 match was better than expected, this WrestleMania 34 one stunk up the place. It was just terrible, not as exciting, worse pacing, and just a bore. The crowd certainly reflected this as they just couldn’t be bothered to give a damn. Yet I will say, whoever did bring in the beach balls, STOP! Seriously, even if the match sucks, show some respect. Mini rant over.
This match only got exciting when Reigns was busted open halfway through, yet slowed down again. The only thing really memorable is Lesnar winning because his and Heyman’s contracts were up that night. It seemed so sure Reigns would become Universal Champion, but apparently not. My only reasoning is that it’ll lead to a Roman win at the Greatest Royal Rumble, but I’m still shaking my head. It’s odd that they would have Lesnar retain with his imminent UFC return. Hey, at least Roman looked strong after all those F5s. Props to him for going along with the show, but this main event sucked!
Overall, it was a pretty entertaining show and even more of a rollercoaster than last year. However, it is hampered by some poor booking and terrible pacing, in spite of its great moments and shocks.
What did you think of WrestleMania 34? Let us know in the comments!