Home Humor BREAKING: California First State to Pass Law Banning M-Rated Games

BREAKING: California First State to Pass Law Banning M-Rated Games

written by Tyler April 1, 2018
Protest banning M-rated games

In a surprise move in lieu of Trump’s meeting with bigwigs of the video game industry, California’s state senate has passed a new law overnight that will make the sale of M-rated games unlawful across the state, beginning on February 30, 2019. Congress and Republicans are calling banning M-rated games a “win for freedom and peace in California”.

Outrage is sure to spread like wildfire across the video game industry. However, developers have already started taking measures to adhere to the new law. The new Assassin’s Creed Origins is removing all weapons from their game, having the would-be assassin be able to complete missions through dialogue and talking out your issues.  We’ve heard reports that the Hitman series is changing to a journalism simulator, where slander and tarnishing your targets’ reputations is the key to winning missions. Lastly, the latest Far Cry 5 has hunting, but apparently, Ubisoft is going to let you be able to “pet” the animals until they pass out from happiness.

California state senate, who wants to ban M-rated gamesThe California state senate, where the dirty deed was done.

Facebook events have begun to pop up across California, rounding up outraged moms that have called for the banning of Grand Theft Auto for years. These events are various “book burning”-style shindigs to toss Resident Evil: Biohazard, Outlast 2, and DOOM into barrels, light them on fire, and play Europe’s “The Final Countdown”. Jack Thompson is rumored to attend.

With Net Neutrality being gutted lately, and the recent re-amending of the amendment that protected video games as free speech, this comes as no surprise. Since the artistic medium of video games has been eviscerated by the implementation of micro-transactions, the industry has been on a downward spiral that could only end in literally banning M-rated games. I mean, at least we’re going to see less gun violence in the country as a result, right?

My take? I was happy only playing Animal Crossing, Stardew Valley, and the latest iteration of Little Big Planet anyway. What do you folks think?

By the way, happy April Fool’s Day, geeks! 😊


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